Post-Abortion Grief

 

 Author:           E. Joanne Angelo

 

 Title:            Post-Abortion Grief

 

 LargerWork:      The Human Life Review

 

 Pages:            43-46

 

 Publisher &Date:  The Human Life Foundation,Inc., Fall 1996

 

 Includes:          Identicaltext with no graphics.

 

                   This article brings our attention to the physical and

                   mental trauma that a woman goes through and continues

                   to go through after having an elective abortion. E.

 Description:       Joanne Angelo explains why thepost-abortion woman

                   suffers differently from other women who have

                   experienced the loss of a child, and gives suggestions

                   to the type of therapy needed to recover.

 

 Submittedby:      DardenBrock ( darden.brock@trincomm.org )

 

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                           Post-Abortion Grief

 

                           By E. Joanne Angelo

 

 Every woman whosubjects herself to an induced abortion suffers the death

 of her ownchild. She is at risk not only for the surgical and medical

 complicationsof abortionÑuterine rupture, sepsis, infertility, increased

 incidence ofcancer. She is also at high risk for pathological grief, which

 often bringswith it severe and long-lasting negative sequelae for herself,

 her partner,her surviving children and the whole of society. Grief

 following adeath in the family is a universally accepted experience. A

 period ofmourning following the loss of a loved one is a normal

 expectation inevery culture. It is also generally understood that if this

 mourningprocess is blocked or impacted, there will be negative

 consequences.Shakespeare, in his tragedy Macbeth, says, "Give sorrow

 words, thegrief that does not speak knits up the o'erwrought heart and

 bids itbreak" (Act IV, scene 3). Yet a mother's grief after an induced

 abortion hasheretofore seldom been acknowledged.

 

 The death of achild is perhaps the most difficult loss to mournÑeven the

 death of apremature baby, a stillborn child, or a miscarriage. The medical

 literature inrecent years has increasingly acknowledged the significance

 of perinatalloss for parents. Obstetrical journals describe "perinatal

 griefteams" consisting of nurses, doctors, social workers, clergy and

 volunteers whohelp parents cope with the loss of children who die in

 neonatalintensive care units. Parents are encouraged to name and hold

 their deadbaby, and to take photographs. Religious services assist them in

 their mourning,and they are encouraged to bury the child with their loved

 ones in afamily grave which they can visit as often as they wish.1

 

 Abortion,whether spontaneous or induced, is part of the same continuum of

 perinatalgrief. However, grief after elective abortion is uniquely

 poignantbecause it is largely hidden. There are no provisions made to

 assist thepost-abortion woman in her grievingÑshe has no child to hold, no

 photographs, nowake or funeral, and no grave to visit. After an elective

 abortion, awoman typically finds herself alone to cope not only with the

 loss of thechild she will never know, but also with her personal

 responsibilityin the child's death with its ensuing guilt and shame. She

 may havedifficulty understanding her ambivalent feelingsÑon the one hand,

 relief (oftenvery temporary) that she is no longer pregnant, and, on the

 other hand, aprofound sense of loss and emptiness. In her book, The

 Anatomy ofBereavement, Beverley Raphael explains, "A woman may have

 required a highlevel of defensive denial of her tender feelings for the

 baby to allowher to make the decision for termination. This denial often

 carries herthrough the procedure and hours afterward, so that she seems

 cheerful,accepting but unwilling to talk at the time when supportive

 counseling maybe offered by the clinic."2 This may explain why research

 intopsychiatric sequelae of abortion in the immediate post-abortion period

 often yieldsnegative results.

 

                          The Emotional Effects

 

 In the weeksand months after the abortion, feelings of sadness and guilt

 often threatento overwhelm the post-abortion woman, yet society offers her

 no assistancein mourningÑshe is expected to be grateful that "her problem

 is solved"and to "get on with her life" as though nothing significant had

 happened. Atthe same time, pain and bleeding remind her of the assault on

 her body, thesudden endocrine changes cause her to become emotionally

 labile orunstable. She is poignantly aware of the date her child would

 have been born.Reminders threaten her defensive denial and repression all

 too frequently:anniversaries of her abortion, other children of the age

 her child wouldhave been, Mother's Day, the omni-present abortion debate

 in the media, avisit to the gynecologist, the sound of the suction machine

 at thedentist's office, or the sound of a vacuum cleaner at home, a baby

 in a televisionad, a new pregnancy, a death in the family, a film

 depictingprenatal development or abortion, or a pro-life homily. Any of

 these maytrigger a sudden flood of grief, guilt, anger and even despair,

 which in turn,calls forth even more intense defensive responses.

 

 Thepost-abortion woman's attempts to comply with society's expectations

 that sheproceed with her life as though she had undergone an innocuous

 procedure arebought at great personal expense. She may turn to alcohol or

 drugs to get tosleep at night or to deaden the pain of the intrusive

 thoughts, whichhaunt her day and night, "I killed my baby! I killed my

 baby! I don'tdeserve to live!" Flashbacks to the abortion procedure may

 occur at anytime. She may throw herself into intense activityÑwork, study,

 or recreation,or attempt to deal with her feelings of loneliness and

 emptiness bybinge eating alternating with purging or anorexia, or by

 intense effortsto repair intimate relationships or develop new ones

 inappropriately, becoming sexually promiscuous, riskingsexually

 transmitteddiseases, and repeating pregnancy and abortion. Complaints of

 vague abdominalpain or pain on sexual intercourse may cause her to seek

 medicaltreatment from one physician after another unsuccessfully, and the

 veryexaminations to which she is subjected may cause flashbacks to the

 abortionexperience. Her life spirals downward as her general health,

 personal relationshipsand job performance become more and more impaired.

 Discouragement,despair, clinical depression and suicide attempts often

 follow.3Typically, in presenting symptoms over a period of many years, she

 is treated bynumerous physicians and mental health professionals without

 ever receivinghelp for the root cause of her problems, her abortion or

 abortions.Psychiatric textbooks subsume all of the above symptoms under

 the diagnosisof a Pathological Grief Reaction.

 

               Effects On Marriage And Subsequent Children

 

 Short-termresearch into the psychiatric sequelae of abortion fails to

 document itsdevastating long-term negative effects on women and on their

 forming andsustaining stable spousal relationships, and of caring

 appropriatelyfor subsequent children. They may have difficulty bonding

 with a newbaby, or, conversely, become overprotective and inappropriately

 attached to thenext child who bears the burden of replacing the aborted

 baby. These childrenare often referred to child psychiatrists because of

 separationanxiety, or because they are judged to be at risk for physical

 abuse. Couplesmay be treated for infertility or dysfunctional marriages,

 which stem froma previous abortion or abortions. Substance abuse,

 "burnout" on the job, psycho-somatic symptoms,eating disorders, chronic

 depression andsuicide attempts which routinely bring women into

 psychiatriccare can often be traced to an abortion experience several

 years beforethrough a careful and complete history.

 

 In addition toimmediate intervention for the presenting problem,

 successfultreatment of women who have suffered the tragedy of abortion

 requires thatthe underlying traumatic loss be acknowledged and

 appropriately grieved.Psychotherapy involves facilitating the work of

 mourning whichhas been so long delayed. Within a therapeutic relationship,

 the woman isencouraged to share her traumatic loss and to acknowledge her

 role in it. Sheis helped to share the mental image she has formed of her

 childÑoften one of a baby being torn to pieces orcrying out in pain. As

 the grief workproceeds, her image is transformed into a less disturbing

 picture of herchild at peace. She may name the child and arrange for a

 religiousservice to be performed for him or her. She accepts God's

 forgiveness andmay be able to forgive herself and ask forgiveness of her

 child.Eventually she is able to put the child to rest in her mind. Only

 then is shefree to resume her life productivelyÑto make new relationships

 or repair oldones, to work, to play, and to be creative once again.4

 

 With 30 millionabortions in this country since Roe v. Wade, and the

 continuing rateof 1.5 million abortions per year, we can no longer deny

 the publichealth significance of their psychological and psychophysical

 sequelae.Epidemiological studies are urgently needed which are

 statisticallysound and which follow women and men for at least ten years

 postabortion.However, it is axiomatic that the best treatment for any

 epidemic isprimary prevention. Abortion is an elective surgical procedure

 performed onhealthy women (pregnancy is not a disease). The immediate

 abolition ofelective abortion would eradicate the iatrogenic epidemic of

 post-abortionpathology and would serve the best interests of women and

 society. InEvangelium Vitae (no. 99) John Paul II spells out the pastoral

 approach of thechurch:

 

 The wound inyour heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened

 was and remainsterribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do

 not lose hope.Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly.

 If you have notalready done so, give yourself over with humility and trust

 to repentance.The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness

 and his peacein the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will come to

 understand thatnothing is definitely lost and you will also be able to ask

 forgivenessfrom your child, who is now living in the Lord. With the

 friendly andexpert help and advice of other people, and as a result of

 your ownpainful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders

 of everyone'sright to life.

 

                                  Notes

 

 1. Wathen,N.C., "Perinatal Bereavement," British Journal of Obstetrics and

 Gynecology 97[1990]: 759-760.

 

 2. Basic Books:New York, 1983.

 

 3. Speckhard,A. & Rue, V. "Complicated Mourning: Dynamics of Impacted

 Post-AbortionGrief," Journal of Pre- and Perinatal Psychology 8 [1993]:

 6-12.

 

 4. Angelo, E.J."The Negative Impact of Abortion on Women and Families," in

 Post-AbortionAftermath, Mannion, M. ed. [Sheed and Ward: Kansas City, MO,

 1994].

 

 E. JoanneAngelo, M.D. is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at

 TuftsUniversity School of Medicine and a psychiatrist in private practice

 in Boston. Sheis a Corresponding Member of the Pontifical Academy for

 Life. Thisarticle originally appeared in the November 1995 issue of Ethics

 & Medics, amonthly publication of the Pope John Center.

 

   © The Human Life Review., The Human Life Foundation, Inc.,Editorial

          Office, Room840, 150 E. 35th St., New York, N.Y. 10016.

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